You can’t take it with you

BLACKBURN ROVERS 0 BURNLEY 1
BURNLEY 2 HUDDERSFIELD TOWN 1

We thought that the win at Ewood 2 years ago was special and then along comes another to store away in our heads for rainy days.

Of course the win in the promotion season maybe carries the bigger significance seeing as it was the first for 35 years and the Clarets had been 1-0 down. But this one was up there too in the list of top games to remember. Scattered amongst the Burnley end were more than just a few fans dressed in chicken outfits or wearing chicken masks. For those who were there, the bus ride home must have been a jubilant 7-mile celebration party.

A pretty game this was not. Ugly it might have been. Burnley were far from fluent; they were as they have been all season grinding out a result with resilience and resolve, defenders digging deep, tackling, covering, blocking, clearing, filling the box with bodies, Heaton in top, top form and Barton producing a man of the match performance.

It may not have been the best example of ‘the beautiful game’ yet it was filled with heart stopping moments and packed with dramatic incidents. Each side could have had a penalty when in the first instance Hanley’s legs tangled with Barton’s and sent him crashing down. At the other end Barton did exactly the same thing bringing a Blackburn player down. The referee said no to both of them. Maybe they were marginal and each cancelled out the other. But the blatant pen that went unpunished was when Hanley deliberately tripped Barton immediately after they both got up. Both were still in the penalty area with the ball in play way upfield. Neither ref nor linesman saw it. The cameras did. For Hanley it would have been a red card but both linesman and referee would not have been looking that way. Hanley knew what he was cynically doing but in the end it mattered not one jot. The Joey of ten years ago might well have got up and lamped Hanley; the new Joey just looked mildly miffed, got up and got on with the game.

The goal of course was sublime. From a free kick Mee eventually swiped at the ball and hit thin air, but was smart enough seconds later to compose himself and roll it back just a few yards to Arfield lurking on the edge of the box who side footed it beautifully into the top corner. If that wasn’t memorable enough his charge to the opposite end of the ground with the rest of the team in hot pursuit was a celebration to remember. He collected Duff on the way and arm in arm they ran right to the Burnley fans that by this time were totally beside themselves with the sheer joy and wonder of the whole thing. A second win at Ewood was just too much to contemplate with much of the half remaining.

In the dying seconds Heaton produced a wonder save from a Duffy header that was heading in. When Brian Clough bought Peter Shilton he announced that Shilton would win them at least 12 points that season. Heaton may well do the same at Burnley. Duffy looked crestfallen. Jordan must have felt much the same by the end of the game. He had three good attempts but it just wasn’t his day.

It just wasn’t Blackburn’s day at all. They hit the woodwork with a screamer and missed another golden chance when it would have been easier to score. They dominated the first 20 minutes when Burnley could do little right. But there was no way past Heaton and the defence. If relentless was once the key word, now it was resilient. If it was once remorseless, now it was resistant.

Amazingly there was not one yellow card with nothing at all to resemble the games that Steve Kindon remembers vividly, other than a bit of handbags stuff between Gray and Marshall. Kindon remembers real animosity on these derby days and the time he had his nose broken. That was on Boxing Day 1977 and a 3-2 defeat at Burnley. It was a time when Burnley under Harry Potts were not doing at all well; the game was all physical and a real battle. Into the second half and Kindon was in hot pursuit of a long ball in front of the Bob Lord. An elbow clattered into his face leaving blood everywhere, all over his shirt and his nose broken in two.

To say he was angry and sought retribution is an understatement and receiving treatment in the dressing room all he wanted to do was get back on and seek out the culprit. As he came back on, the Blackburn players knew how psyched up Kindon was and Derek Fazakerly told him to go back off before he did anything stupid. He did his best to seek revenge, Brian Miller had told him who it was, but the Blackburn player kept well away, well shielded by his team-mates.

It was in the return fixture that justice was done. Burnley won this game 1-0 and Kindon adds the laconic punchline to the story. ‘I got booked, but the guy who broke my nose left the field on a stretcher.’

Sean Dyche’s profile was raised even further. He did not end up at Sunderland but with Tim Sherwood gone at Villa after another defeat, and Sherwood looking more and more morose, now it was the Villa job under the spotlight. The pundits were writing: when oh when will a leading Premier club give a chance to Sean Dyche, presuming that’s what he wants one day.

Dyche recently acknowledged the influence on him of two other managers – Brian Clough and Alex Ferguson. Ferguson in his newest book Leaders praises Dyche highly and sees him as one of the most promising managers in the game. Dyche spoke in depth to reporter Chris Boden, the gist of it being you can’t treat everyone the same, different types need different handling, you have to know the group and the individuals and what works best for them, there’s no one perfect way; he’s managed around 200 games and uses different styles all the time.

So far it’s working and it was good waking up on Sunday morning after the Blackburn game to think we’d got one over them yet again, Burnley certainly the dominant club at the moment, the days of Rovers buying a title long gone and 10,000 empty seats in the Rovers stands. Now it’s Burnley fans hiring planes with messages aimed at Blackburn that say: In Venkys We Trust. I sang a quick verse of’ Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day,’ in the bath. A very hot bath first thing every morning is now a must these days to get my back loosened up. Paul Fletcher did the same before a game as he got older.

‘I was never fast but I was always clean,’ he says today.

It was hard to decide who you wanted to lose in the Leeds v Blackburn game but it was obvious within minutes which way it would go. Maximo Cellino chose the pre-match music Things Can Only Get Better. Whoops, they didn’t. Give them credit, Blackburn were decent and forgive me Lord but I’d take Lawrence and Conway at Turf Moor. Cellino’s glowering face, Leeds fans’ faces grim, glum and almost bewildered, the thousands of empty seats and the abject poverty of Leeds’ attempts to salvage something are the images that remain. There are allegedly, according to an insider, over 30 legal claims against the club for unpaid debts whilst dozens of staff and contracted professionals have been shown the door, many almost on a whim, according to the Independent, describing Elland Road as a God-forsaken place from top to bottom and currently paying off 4 previous managers. Cameron Stewart, one of the most underwhelming players briefly to light the Turf Moor stage, reportedly received £750k in a claim for wrongful dismissal. Who says being average doesn’t pay?

Evans gone by Christmas – he will probably say it was an honour and a privilege to have been sacked by Cellino; a bit like the journalists that were all banned from Turf Moor by Old Bob who considered it a badge of honour and wore special ties to mark their membership of this exclusive club. Evans says he needs six new players. He’ll have to hurry; his time is running out; Leeds have had more managers than home wins so far in 2015.

Another Burnley fan in Turkey emerged via Facebook. Via the Friends of Kalkan group a message came from Ozkan inviting me to be his ‘friend’. OK, I accepted and the messages went like this:

Him: Hi how are you.
Me: Fine I enjoyed my 2 weeks in Kalkan very much.
Him: That is good how about I can clean your pool.
Me: I do not have a house in Kalkan with a pool but I do have a large bath in my house in England.
Him: OK I have plot of land for sale.
Me: Sorry I am but a poor Englishman with no money.
Him: Ah, no worry. Up the Clarets

I haven’t heard from him since.

Saturday against Huddersfield: a special day for grandson Joe. His Aunty Victoria had decided to sponsor Matt Taylor and it was the day to meet him and receive two signed shirts, a home and away. Matt Taylor is currently Joe’s number one now that Trippier and Ings have gone. He must have watched the video of Taylor’s goal at Nottingham 20 times and has action-replayed it down our hall 100 times with the door at the end receiving some serious grief. He spent most of the school holiday week with us eating us out of house and home.

By the time of the game Sean D had been presented with a 3-year anniversary cake in the boardroom and Barry K had agreed to take on the role of Vice Chairman now that his health issues were under control. It was a weekend of celebration then with the question being asked: Is Sean Dyche the greatest ever Burnley manager? Win promotion again this season and the answer would be a resounding yes for this charismatic, larger-than-life man, but in the meantime the other nominations in the sealed envelope (the criteria being achievements and contributions to the club) are John Haworth, Cliff Britton, Alan Brown, Harry Potts, Jimmy Adamson, Jimmy Mullen and Stan Ternent. Owen Coyle was disqualified. One thing is for certain: this club has never had such a good group of people in charge, from the manager, to the CEO and the Boardroom.

Breakfast: Leeds and the Elland Road comedy club shrouded in mist and gloom, Cellino agreeing in principle to sell to a Supporters Group. I sprinkled salt on my boiled egg (6 minutes from boiling) lightly. Leeds supporters sprinkled it heavily on the use of Cellino and principle in the same sentence. The ground by the way is owned by a guy from Manchester just to add to the mix. Now there is talk of renaming it Poundland Road.

We were there very early to be taken round the pitch perimeter to meet Matt Taylor and receive a couple of shirts. Even before 1.00 in the ground there was a buzz; the buzz based very much on the fact that at this point in time things were going so well, optimism high, staff filled with cheerfulness and good spirits, the place filled with smiles. You can’t buy this sort of stuff; you can’t just ship it in. When I was a Head I was blessed with a staff that in the main were just miserable farts.

Pitchside at just after 1.00, the ground and turf immaculate, the weather mild and dry, and it’s surprising just how many different groups are wandering round, how many players are meeting and greeting. At the entrance to the players’ tunnel it was like Charter Walk on payday, Joe and Aunty Victoria looking star struck, Mrs T chatting away, Michael Duff with a group, Dave Jones and Tom Heaton stretching their legs, Ashley Barnes wandering round to the Fanzone, photographs galore.

But where was Bertie Bee? No sign of him anywhere, not there or later during the game. Had his new book success gone to his head? Had book launch day and signing lots of books and crowds queueing to see him persuaded him he was now a Bee list celebrity? There were rumours he’d flown off to Hollywood convinced he was now worth bigger and better things hoping to get a star role in a remake of The Sting.

And the game: It was a Halloween Trick or Treat Special. They must have trained specially for this tricking us into thinking it was all done and dusted, 2-0 up and coasting thanks to a Gray penalty and a Gray net buster, spraying the ball around, snuffing out any threats, Heaton making saves when he needed to, creating plenty of chances and all of it tricking us into a sense of security that the win was but minutes away with nothing to worry about. And trick us they did for then there was a final short period when we were treated to what so often happens when we chew our nails and squirm and howl for the whistle because we’ve carelessly let the other side in, Duffo pots an own goal and hell they’ve scored. Then it’s all backs to the wall as balls are pumped in, headed in, lobbed in, hammered in, lofted in incessantly so that we will the referee to blow for time before a 2-0 lead is squandered.

But: the crowd heading up to a respectable 17,000 and thankfully it all ended well with Heaton, Jones, Barton and Gray particularly impressive in a game that could have been won in a canter if more chances had been taken. What a shame it would have been to spoil Sean D’s third anniversary, Joe and Aunty Victoria’s special day and the incredible feelgood factor there is around the place at the moment. Memories are made of special days like this when we say what the hell, you can’t take it with you, and treat ourselves to a little bit of an extravagance.

It’s the People’s Game

BURNLEY 2 BOLTON WANDERERS 0
NOTTINGHAM FOREST 1 BURNLEY 1
BLACKBURN ROVERS 0 BURNLEY 1

There are different ways to win games, Sean Dyche has said several times. The win over Bolton Wanderers was the perfect illustration and as it turned out it was not the banana skin game that we might have expected.

Play badly for a bit, let the other team have the ball as much as they want for the first 15 minutes, keep ‘em out, slowly find our way, then move up a couple of gears, enjoy a 30-minute blistering spell and score a couple, then let the other team back into the game and spend a testing final 10 minutes. We’re getting into the groove, he said after this game.
Bolton of course the team that Owen Coyle said was 10 years ahead of Burnley when he toddled off to the grass he thought was greener. Five years down the line they were bottom of the division after the defeat at Burnley.

What Coyle actually said was: ‘The best way to put it is that Bolton is probably five or ten years ahead of what we are trying to achieve at Burnley.’ Well Burnley has certainly caught up those first five years and are thriving and solvent. I’d have given more than a penny for Gartside’s thoughts as this fixture approached and then afterwards.

Apparently he was on his best behaviour in the boardroom and the Burnley directors were as ever polite and courteous. But who can blame them if, like us, they chuckle and chortle a bit after he has left the building. ‘He’s certainly a little more reserved these days,’ was one description. There’s not much scope to bluster when you’re nearly £100million in debt, no longer a Prem side, and propping up the division.

What a difference a striker makes, what a difference one player can make. You could argue that had Gray being playing for Sheffield Wednesday they would have won. For long spells they played the better football and piled on a fair bit of pressure. But in front of goal they were toothless although one Sunday paper had Heaton as goalkeeper of the week. Burnley huffed and puffed for maybe 60 of the 90 minutes but in the other 30 Gray took centre stage and scored twice, one of them a belter. On a day when everything goes right he could have had four quite easily and the signs were there that a real partnership with Vokes was emerging.

The Tony Kay versus Bob Lord story nudged a few memories because of the betting scandal involving Tony Kay, Peter Swan and Bronco Layne. The bets that Sheffield Wednesday would lose at Ipswich were laid in November 1962, in the 1962/63 season. The season before Ipswich had pipped Burnley to the title when Burnley ran out of steam over the last 10 games.

Did those guys deliberately throw the match? Only they will ever know but they certainly broke the rules by betting on themselves to lose and stood to gain a handsome profit from the bet. It was a massive story at the time. Foolish, gullible, naïve, even stupid, seeking to profit on the sly, they were eventually caught out and paid a draconian price. It was a betting scam pure and simple, instigated by fixer Jimmy Gauld, with the story related by Swan in his 2007 book, PETER SWAN.

His manager when all of this hit the headlines was none other than Alan Brown formerly of Burnley both as a player and manager. Nobody was more morally upright than Brown, a hard man who ruled with a rod of iron. At Sunderland, Brian Clough was in awe of him and confessed later to modelling himself on him. Brown tolerated no poor behaviour and was like a very strict headmaster according to many players. Brown, Swan writes, told him to go home and start praying to God for forgiveness for what he had done, adding that if he trusted the Lord, he’d have no problems. Would that life was so simple.

In all of this, the only certainty is that Sheffield Wednesday players bet on themselves to lose. Only they know if they deliberately lost the game. It’s all well over 50 years ago and us old-timers can still bring it to mind. For others it’s now just a historical footnote. Would the punishments be as severe today? They suffered time in prison and were banned for life from the game although after several years that was lifted and Swan was able to play a handful of games for Wednesday again.

Years later Dennis Lillee and Rod Marsh placed a bet on England to win at 500/1. That was when England were seven down and almost 100 short of making Australia bat again. Cue Botham and Willis. It wasn’t part of a wider betting scam, Lillee and Marsh were not banged up, just reprimanded and were picked for the three remaining test matches.

My neighbour Stuart’s face was glum and despondent. He’d bought a Leeds season ticket this time round wondering if this might turn out to be a good season. Alas what chance is there, he asked yesterday, with that clown Cellino in charge, as he fired yet another manager, this time Uwe Rosler, the fifth to be given his P45. In Leeds they don’t count the days to Christmas, they count the managers. My pal Garry Edwards, the Leeds equivalent of Dave Burnley, was apoplectic. It strikes me as a miracle that Cellino is still alive. There’s a brutal, psychopathic hard core of Leeds fans, descended from skull-crushing and warlike Ancient Britons. I’m amazed one of them hasn’t done him a serious mischief.

And Steve Evans the new manager: the press are having a field day finding things he allegedly said of Leeds on April 13, like this gem. ‘Leeds are not a big club. Don’t get me wrong, they used to be; now they’re just a circus run by puppets, watched by blinkered seals. If they ever offered me a job, I’d turn it down; I want to be the captain of a Cruise-liner, not the Titanic.’

Way to go Steve.

On the same day as the appointment was confirmed, next up in the comedy procession was the news that Cellino was now banned from running a football club on account of failing the fit and proper owner’s and director’s test. He had known about this since October 14th. It used to be Man City known as the Theatre of Base Comedy. Now it is clearly Leeds United. Evans we may assume will be quietly pleased. With Cellino now banned he can’t sack Evans for at least a few weeks.

It was difficult not to keep a straight face as on SKY Sports News Evans declared himself to be honoured, humbled and proud to be the next er manager er head coach… he really didn’t know which… by a man barred for tax evasion. I couldn’t wait to buy the next day’s Yorkshire Post.

Chief writer Richard Sutcliffe began by saying he is often asked about Leeds United on his travels by people who are either fascinated or just plain amused by the events unfolding at a club that is currently beyond parody and where things now border on the farcical. The pantomime season has begun early this year, he wrote, with the latest turn of events once again leaving the club as a laughing stock. What stuck out the most, he wrote, was that in the types of managers appointed there seems no logic, no common ground between them, with each of the six so far, so different, so disparate, as if to suggest that Cellino has no real idea what he looks for in a manager. Of Rosler he said he wanted someone who could produce heavy rock but all he was getting was country music.

And the good news: as soon as Cellino has faced or served this ban, another one for something else just is round the corner waiting for him.

We were having new windows fitted, the day chaotic, the noise of drills, saws, banging and clattering incessant. The three blokes here drank enough tea to float the Titanic and gave me a repetitive strain injury from lifting up the kettle over and again. One of them had a Leeds shirt on. What’s with all this Burnley stuff, he asked with a cheeky grin when he came out of grandson Joe’s bedroom, a room lined with Burnley shirts and pictures and shelves piled high with programmes. I retaliated with ‘and what’s Cellino up to at the moment?’ He laughed; what else could he do. They worked nine hours without a break of any kind and by the end of the day as dusk was settling had done a whole house. One word came to mind – relentless.

With all that going on we’d hardly given a thought to the game at Nottingham. Having grabbed a quick Indian (he didn’t arf look surprised) we sat back and watched Sky Sports News and groaned when Forest scored. It had seemed reasonable to expect a win down there; Forest had been none too clever of late and we seemed to be getting better each game. The minutes ticked by and it seemed that Forest were going to get an unlikely win, especially as one-time target Henri Lansbury had been sent off for a crazy stamp on Ben Mee. With Mee on the ground Lansbury whilst running simply stamped him in the chest and then feigned ‘what me ref, why ref, what have I done?’ Quite what possessed Lansbury to do that only he knows and in the football world it caused barely a ripple. It left me thinking if Joey Barton had done something similar it would have been headline news for a week with his previous record of flying off the handle. A 3amp fuse in a 13amp plug; could blow anytime, impossible to read, said Sam Allardyce who managed him at Newcastle.

Even minus Lansbury a defeat seemed likely. But step up Matt Taylor who finished off a bout of rapid passing with a blistering left-foot shot from 25 yards. Does anyone have a sweeter shot from distance than this guy? Cue jokes such as Matt-finish and Taylor-made but this was in the 90th minute so they were worth a chuckle.’ I haven’t seen a ball go in that quickly for a long time,’ said Dyche. To say it was spectacular is an understatement.

By all accounts it was a game that could have been won, Barton hit the post and there were other decent chances. Darikwa was taken off and on came Lowton originally first-choice right back. Lowton got a mention the next day by a guy who wandered across to the house from across the way while I was taking the rubbish out.

‘You’re a Burnley supporter,’ he said having seen the sticker in the car. ‘I’m a Villa fan.’ He was one of the two guys painting and decorating the house opposite.

Heck: you must be thinking we all have loadsa money around here, me with new windows and the neighbours having their house decorated. His accent was broad brummy which seemed out of place in our neck of the woods. He was on his fifth or sixth cig break and it was only about 10.30. The day before, he must have finished a whole packet he was outside so often while his mate inside carried on working.

‘You’ve got one of our boys playing for you… Lowton, e’s class, we should never av sould ‘im,’ he continued whilst the other bloke was inside still slapping paint on.

He was amazed to hear that Lowton had barely featured this season. He was equally amazed to hear that the window guys had done the job in just one day. I could see the wheels turning and the light coming on as he figured it out: while he had painted a couple of doors and a window ledge, they’d fitted 14 windows and a door.

With just two days to go all tickets were sold out for the game at Blackburn despite the obligatory bus system. On the morning of the game I showed Mrs T the latest research that Bacon was good for you because it contains Choline a nutrient that improves memory and brain development and helps fight Dementia. But no I couldn’t have a bacon sandwich for lunch.

‘It’s the People’s Game,’ said Sean Dyche looking ahead to Saturday. Er is it? If it was the People’s Game we’d all be making our own way there instead of queuing up for buses, although by all accounts things have been improved, and the lucky ones were even on pleasant comfy coaches. Nevertheless the people’s ownership of this game has been taken away by safety committees and the police despite the best efforts of Supporters Clubs.

Me and Mrs T stayed outside the bubble and watched at home in comfort. It was a weekend when there were several high profile local derbies including West Ham versus Chelsea, Man United v City and Sunderland v Newcastle. The night before there was Rotherham v Sheffield Wednesday. Over the weekend the Ewood game was the only ‘Bubble’ game; maybe for many who are now used to it, it all adds to the fun of the day out, especially after a win.

In truth, things have seemed fairly quiet and stable of late over at Ewood; no sackings, no turmoil, no controversy, and as a result not an awful lot to laugh at although the Venky’s are still there and the Jack Walker statue was enhanced with a turban recently. It actually looked rather smart.

‘Don’t boo Joey Barton,’ said Robbie Savage, the fount of all wisdom, advising Rovers fans not to wind him up. Rovers according to the bookies were marginal favourites to win the game; quite why wasn’t clear especially as Burnley snatched it with a 1-0 win. We switched off the TV and waheyed. The afternoon shop was in M&S. We can be there in just seven minutes and we smiled all the way there– and we didn’t have to go on a bus with a police escort.

Stumps Runs and Rock and Roll

Can’t grumble I suppose. The UK weather wasn’t too draconian when we got back from the blue skies and sun of Kalkan. Images and memories of the taste sensations of Marbled Steak at the Wapiano, Steak Minions at the Zula, Steak Tornado at Soprano’s and harbourside breakfasts slowly faded.

A couple of days after we left there was an earthquake over there that was felt in the town, only a few shakes, the centre of it was a 100 miles away; so just after midnight as people wandered back to their hotels and apartments they could be forgiven for thinking they’d just had few too many drinks.

M&S was already full of Christmas stuff already, most Garden Centres were filled up with Christmas tat, Blatter was suspended, Qatar won the bid to host his leaving do, Rodgers was sacked at Liverpool, Advocaat left Sunderland; it was all happening. And that’s even before you mention the Tory Conference. On a local website a guy was asking where he could get good manure from. The Tory conference was my immediate reply. Continue reading Stumps Runs and Rock and Roll

Sojourn in Kalkan

With the nights drawing in and autumn settling over Yorkshire and Lancashire and our brains still tingling after the win over Sheffield Wednesday, within a couple of days we were back for part two of the double-header.

This time it was against that team from Milton Keynes. MK Dons have been around for a while but it’s still a name that seems false and artificial. I couldn’t help wondering what the hell they were doing in the Championship at Turf Moor. They were formed under false pretences it always seemed to me.

But here they were so all that remained was to continue the good Burnley work and send them packing. Never mind the season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, we thought. We need hot sun. So straight after the game we were off to Kalkan to meet a new chum as well, Mehmet (pictured above) the owner of the Café Zula who bit by bit I was converting to Claretianity and the good news was that with the Derby game on SKY we’d be able to find a bar and see it. Continue reading Sojourn in Kalkan

A new hero is born

(“Lancaster Castle” by Photo by Tom Oates. Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons – https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Lancaster_Castle.jpg#/media/File:Lancaster_Castle.jpg)

We were waiting for Joey. The flurry of publicity and media focus had died down. Nor did he play in the reserve game against Manchester City that featured Lowton, Marney, and the two Longs in their search for fitness.

Having signed for Burnley JB had hit out at Premier clubs that hadn’t been prepared to take a gamble on him. His attitude was clear. Any club in the bottom half would have found him a good addition to their team. By ignoring him they were being ‘lazy.’

Perhaps, he thought, that having him at their clubs would have been like inviting Charles Manson or Fred West into the building. He was being judged on past reputation, he argued, rather than on pure footballing ability. It’s a ridiculous legacy I have, he said. They tune in to things I did in 2006 and 2007, rather than his last two or three years and how his family circumstances have changed. Continue reading A new hero is born

Somebody has to go to Morecambe

Pre-season friendly: Burnley 2 Bradford City 0

By this time last year I think I’d already clocked up four diary pieces with the Prem season to look forward to and the World Cup in progress. With just a week to go until the first game of the new season, this is the first.

Lethargy… disinterest… other things to do… a sense of anti-climax following relegation, maybe it was a mixture of all of those. After relegation, do we want season tickets again I asked? Yes, said Mrs T. Of course I knew I’d get them plus a new kit for Master Joe. He’s too big now to call him Little Joe.

As Burnley’s pre-season games had been taking place we’d been pootling about the country doing our own pre-season tour. We were in Dorset, land of sheep, Thomas Hardy, pheasant shoots and green wellies, and my mouth had dropped open when they lost at Accrington. Ah but that’s Ok said the faithful, it’s only pre-season, it’s all about fitness and giving them all a game. But come on I thought, losing at Accrington, pre-season or not, I doubt losing was on SD’s agenda. Continue reading Somebody has to go to Morecambe

The strange case of a disappearing Jelle

All of us I guess were stunned by the news that after just 8 weeks Jelle Vossen had gone back to Belgium, this time to Bruges. Conspiracy theories abounded and maybe not quite as far-fetched as you might think.

There was one story that wouldn’t go away:

The red neon sign outside the hotel bedroom window had flashed on and off all night but somehow Frank had managed to drop off to sleep despite the luminous glow in his room that went on, off, on off, with its endless recurrence. It was like it was some sort of scene from a cheap American gangster movie where someone is holed up hiding from the Feds, or one of those Mickey Spillane dime paperback novels from the fifties.

In his subconscious he heard a phone ringing. It’s a dream he thought and wanted to ignore it; but in fact it wasn’t. Groggily he picked up the receiver as if it was some kind of Pavlovian response.  In his job, if the phone rang you answered it. But while Pavlov always gave his dog a biscuit, Frank more often than not ended up with nothing. Continue reading The strange case of a disappearing Jelle